“Your Mother is a Whore”

“Your mother is a whore” said the tennis ball

I found in the woods whilst hiking with my

three-legged pal who speaks fluent Dutch.

I spoke with anger in my cold southern drawl,

“She’s easy by choice!” and no reason why,

it’s not a big deal or some kind of crutch.

Believe me my friend I still can’t recall

the number of hours with that other guy

who once told me “she has the magic touch!”

Keep walking crooked I say now ya’ll

as I throw this monstrosity and say goodbye.

To the woods it returns, regret not so much.

-bb

“Menuetto”

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

Give her what she wants and all is well.

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

Give her what she needs and I won’t tell.

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

It’s the needs and wants that break the spell, so well.

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

Tell her what you see and ring the bell.

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

Beg her not to lock the tower cell.

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

The tower cell protects the bell, so well, so well.

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

Are you the kind of man to pay a tickle fee?

I don’t know if I’m that kind.

Are you the kind of man to pay a penalty?

No crime I know is on my head.

Well that’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

That’s what she really really really really wants!

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

That’s what she wants! That’s what she wants!

Rose-film pictures of the neighbors,

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

Not the kind of thing you find in papers,

not scratch jewellery, not wood money, not anything,

at all, or now, or when!

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

Are you the kind of man to pay a tickle fee?

I don’t know if I’m that kind.

Are you the kind of man to pay a penalty?

No crime I know is on my head.

Well that’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

That’s what she really really really really wants!

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

That’s what she wants! That’s what she wants!

Rose-film pictures of the neighbors,

That’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.

Not the kind of thing you find in papers,

not scratch jewellery, not wood money, not anything,

at all, or now, or when!

-bb

“Marshmallow Rap”

(She got a)

Booty so thic like a marshmallow,

booty so thic like a marshmallow,

(She got a)

Booty so thic like a marshmallow,

booty so thic like a marshmallow.

Walking down the street on sticks,

building them bricks,

getting her kicks on licks and tricks.

She’s a puff girl, ruff girl

got not rules girl,

tough girl, eat through

the sugar for the pearl girl.

She’s so fire, one desire got

me burning in the pants

getting higher.

Hand me the chocolate and

break up the crackers,

put her tween the sheets

makin’ stackers.

Hot sweet and sticky

and oh so creamy,

mouthful of heaven

breathin’ steamy.

Teeth too tired,

mouth too sore,

legs like that you’ll

be beggin for s’more, cause

(She got a)

Booty so thic like a marshmallow,

booty so thic like a marshmallow,

(She got a)

Booty so thic like a marshmallow,

booty so thic like a marshmallow.

You know I like it golden brown,

not too burnt with the

flame on the crown.

Take her facedown,

driving downtown,

give her what she wants

and she’ll never frown.

Me I got a sweet tooth,

no oth-er truth,

with an ass like that

just call me the sex sleuth.

Call me Bogart,

show me your falcon,

spread those wings girl, cause

(You got a)

Booty so thic like a marshmallow,

booty so thic like a marshmallow,

(You got a)

Booty so thic like a marshmallow,

booty so thic like a marshmallow.

She got the booty, booty, booty.

-bb

“Pin the Tail on My Ass”

Blindfolded and drunk aids the accurate

eye of no one in particular to be honest.

To say I like the purpose of your game

would make me dumb and dishonest.

I do my squats and push my ups but

look my jeans if you think I’m modest.

If you go first I may forgive but don’t

where I’ll take you I haven’t the foggiest.

Just go ahead and pin the tail on my ass

and our relationship will be the oddest.

-bb