“Your Haircut Sucks”

Dear lord what have you done to yourself?

With a face like that I’d think you’d know

better than to let a blind Maltese monk

bring forth the scissors of San Giljan.

You’re not even Christian though

your name suggests contrary to the wise.

So why is it now that you’ve been circumcised?

And what’s with the hair on your chin?

Don’t tell me if you think I should know.

Just leave it for guessing and that’ll do,

the truth is too much for this conversation.

But I’ll get over it and move on with my life.

For now I’ll go blind but I have to remind,

your haircut sucks for all of mankind.